44
00:02:06,142 --> 00:02:08,980
Monday. Noah Shapiro's helping
me choose which stories to submit.

45
00:02:08,990 --> 00:02:10,830
Wait. What happened to
that Jeremiah Harris guy?

46
00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:12,830
Oh, yeah. He, uh,
well, after he fired me,

47
00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:15,020
I went ahead and sent my
story to Shapiro anyway,

48
00:02:15,100 --> 00:02:17,380
- and he--he--he loved it.
- That's great!

49
00:02:17,420 --> 00:02:18,880
Why haven't you told me any of this?

50
00:02:18,890 --> 00:02:21,980
Well, I've barely seen you.
You're always off at your internship.

51
00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:24,190
Hey, you have French first period.
Aren't you gonna be late?

52
00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:27,650
Uh. Uh, we have a sub,
and he always starts late, so..

53
00:02:27,651 --> 00:02:31,490
Okay. Well, I'm really late for
Italian, so Ciao, Sorella Mia.

54
00:02:38,300 --> 00:02:39,160
Hi. Laurel?

55
00:02:39,161 --> 00:02:41,780
Yeah, it's me. Sorry.
I got stuck in traffic.

56
00:02:41,790 --> 00:02:43,510
I'll see you at Eleanor's in five, okay?

57
00:02:45,590 --> 00:02:47,560
Kiki Smith greeting you in the foyer.

58
00:02:49,020 --> 00:02:51,550
Elm and drag pulling
you into the main room.

59
00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:52,930
I love that.

60
00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:55,570
And making a statement on the stairwell--

61
00:02:55,580 --> 00:02:57,240
Richard Phillips.

62
00:02:58,300 --> 00:03:00,530
Hi, mom. I borrowed your necklace.

63
00:03:00,540 --> 00:03:03,670
- Oh, it's stunning! Serena, do you think--
- It's a necklace, mom.

64
00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:06,190
Oh, but I'm talking
about the art collection.

65
00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:07,870
Isn't it just breathtaking?

66
00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:09,400
Any museum would be thrilled.

67
00:03:09,410 --> 00:03:12,490
Let's hope Bart is when he gets
back from Luxembourg this week.

68
00:03:12,780 --> 00:03:13,830
It's really great, mom.

69
00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:15,990
Your art consultant
has exquisite taste.

70
00:03:16,170 --> 00:03:18,150
- You got in late last night.
- Oh, yeah.

71
00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:20,890
I had the M.O.M.A.
event with, uh, Poppy.

72
00:03:21,060 --> 00:03:23,760
We were perfect ladies, though.
We sipped on sodas all night.

73
00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:26,030
- Oh, Poppy Lifton, the socialite?
- Yes,

74
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,900
they met at a charity
affair the other week

75
00:03:27,901 --> 00:03:30,070
and they've been attached
at the hip ever since.

76
00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:32,250
Now for over here...

77
00:03:32,260 --> 00:03:33,870
Yes, the Ryan Mcginley.

78
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,250
Yes. Uh, something else.

79
00:03:36,260 --> 00:03:38,790
There's a mapplethorpe that's
coming up for auction. Uh...

80
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:40,550
Wait. Mapplethorpe--

81
00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:42,970
Isn't that the one who took all
the pictures of the naked guys?

82
00:03:42,980 --> 00:03:45,710
Yeah. Um, not just guys.

83
00:03:46,550 --> 00:03:47,270
Wait.

84
00:03:48,460 --> 00:03:50,260
- Mom, did you...
- Well...

86
00:03:52,850 --> 00:03:54,960
but I think you and
Eric are old enough now.

87
00:03:54,970 --> 00:03:56,550
.. No, but it's not one
of those artsy shot

88
00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:58,280
where you can't tell
if it's a belly button.

89
00:03:58,290 --> 00:04:00,010
Or a... Well,
it's very tasteful, I assure you.

90
00:04:00,020 --> 00:04:03,650
You just became the coolest
mom on the upper east side.

91
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:04,650
Mm. Thank you.

92
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:08,470
Ah, the besieged queen.

93
00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:11,740
- What do you want, Chuck?
- To help. Your throne's in Danger,

94
00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:14,210
and you can't wage war
on Serena without an ally.

95
00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:17,580
- You need me.
- There is no war.

96
00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:19,540
Now that Marcus has been
booted back to Brighton,

97
00:04:19,550 --> 00:04:21,410
I'm free to focus on my old life.

98
00:04:21,950 --> 00:04:23,650
Serena's just been
keeping my seat warm.

99
00:04:23,660 --> 00:04:26,510
And how do you plan on
making the girls fall at your feet?

100
00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:30,070
- You going to trip them?
- A true monarch bestows favors.

101
00:04:30,490 --> 00:04:33,340
It's fashion week, and I'm the
only constance girl with clout.

102
00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:35,710
Ladies...

103
00:04:36,150 --> 00:04:39,830
I trust tomorrow night
you won't embarrass me.

104
00:04:40,630 --> 00:04:43,420
Oh, my god. Second row
seats to your mother's show?

105
00:04:43,430 --> 00:04:46,660
Oh, my god. Those are
total movie star seats.

106
00:04:46,910 --> 00:04:49,070
Serena is in "Women's wear daily"...

107
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:52,940
- with Poppy Lifton.
- Serena could, like, die now

108
00:04:52,950 --> 00:04:55,070
knowing that she's lived a fulfilled life.

109
00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:55,830
Hey, guys.

110
00:04:55,940 --> 00:04:58,800
- Oh, my gosh. Is Poppy nice?
- She looks so nice.

111
00:05:00,470 --> 00:05:02,190
What? Oh, gosh.
I haven't even seen that.

112
00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:05,600
Blair, where are you going?

113
00:05:06,490 --> 00:05:08,100
I'll just leave you to your fans.

114
00:05:12,930 --> 00:05:16,620
Watching you fail spectacularly
gives me so much joy.

115
00:05:16,630 --> 00:05:19,550
And you know what you give
to everyone, Chuck? Misery.

116
00:05:19,580 --> 00:05:21,640
There's a reason you're
always out here alone.

117
00:05:21,650 --> 00:05:23,930
Nate just happens to be
away at his grandparents'.

118
00:05:23,940 --> 00:05:25,830
Nate's only friends
with you out of habit.

119
00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:28,530
The only person with
fewer friends than you

120
00:05:28,540 --> 00:05:32,280
is Dan Humphrey, and at least
his lame '90s dad likes him.

121
00:05:32,450 --> 00:05:34,520
And that's because he's
something you'll never be--

122
00:05:35,020 --> 00:05:36,160
a human being.

123
00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:42,640
Let me be blunt, Humphrey.
These stories are no good.

124
00:05:43,340 --> 00:05:44,240
What?

125
00:05:44,820 --> 00:05:46,970
Uh, you--you--